Posers, Ballers, Playboys, Bullshitters

Coming to strip club with no money is like going to a casino with no money. Nothing is free, there’s no such thing as a freebie or a free go! The more money your flaunting the more attention your going to gain, people want to join in your fun. However you leave broke, and the strippers leave winning.

You have your posers, these are usually a group of young men from 20-30’s, they come in, sometimes it’s their first ever time, now getting money out of these guys can either be easy peasy, or like drawing blood from a stone, but their usually a good laugh and full of banter. Maybe here for an occassion, “Oh it’s my mates birthday, can we get him a lapdance?”, “Yeah sure, it’s $50 for a 15 minute non-contact striptease if he wants the lap dance it’s $100/$150”, and usually nine times out of ten they reply with “Oh can’t we just have it for free, it is his birthday?”, my darlings, do you think I want your friend whose ridiculously drunk, to fondle my boobs and smack my ass for 15 minutes for nothing? No, not in the slightest! So I just strut off. If they agree however, you make sure your on top form, because they always run back to the table, congratulating the poor soul who I’ve just terrorised for the last quarter of an hour, yet he’s so delighted and over the moon, he either wants another private dance or one of his friends do, BINGO!

Then there’s the Playboys, the young group of guys with more money than they know what to do with, always dressed to nines, drinking cristal, Moët, and grey goose, they spend money, and a lot of it, always polite and here for a good time. You eventually learn how to tell the difference between the real playboys and the fake playboys, the real ones wear suits that fit them perfectly, they wear nice but minimal jewellery, they don’t necessarily start flashing their money about (unless you’ve got them white girl wasted then that’s a different matter), they speak properly, there’s a tab behind the bar, and they don’t hassle you, I always hold eye contact with one and act shy, to give the impression I like him, they love it, hold eye contact and a smile, then wallaaaah he’ll be paying your student books off for next months semister!

The ‘Fake Playboys’ I like to call them ‘Ballers’ because they remind me of some sad pathetic loser who sits at home playing Grand Theft Auto all day, and watching American films which just so happen to have scenes in strip clubs and that’s their expectations. Well unfortunately I can tell when your wearing a hand me down suit, and a fake Armani watch, and what does that tell me? It tells me really your broke as fuck, your probably lying about your age, your 18/19 but saying your 23/24, your wearing waaaaay too much cologne (older brothers/dad’s cologne), and you’ve saved up your pocket money for the last two weeks just to pay the entrance and for that one bottle of grey goose for the whole night to share between 10 of you. Then the more drunker you and your ‘homies’ are getting the more frustrated your getting about the lack of attention from us girls. Then there’s the cheeky pictures your asking to take of us, and your ‘checking-in’ on Facebook status’ saying silly things like “surrounded by these bitches”, when really, we only walk past you to go to the bar. Hmmmm, they don’t ask for private dances because they know they can’t afford it, and when you do your stage show they go wild for it! Which is always fun, other than that, that group is a no-go for money!

The solo yolo guys, I call them this because they rock up alone, (solo) and I think good on fucking you mate, *slow clap, nodding with approval* (yolo), they just come here and sit and relax, these guys 99% of the time book, always target the guys who turn up by themselves, there here for a dance always, sometimes more than often they like to be greedy and book more than just one girl throughout the night, these guys will spend spend spend! What they wear can sometimes be tricky, some look like hobos, and some look very suave, just keep your eye in what their drinking and how often, you can quickly work it out how much they’re spending.

Every stripper will understand this, and these groups of ‘money spenders’, guys the moral of the story is don’t go to a strippers if you ain’t spending, you will be the most unfortunate guys in the venue!

On the move AGAIN

Lots of fun booty shaking, money making months later I decided to pack up my things from Queensland and head to Victoria for some cold weather. I’m joking, but I had itchy feet and what’s a girl with more money than sense to do? So I partied my way down to Victoria!
And within a few weeks of being there and spending stupid amounts of money, I decided it was time to hop onto that stage and start shimmying around a pole again!

I ended up (and still do) work in a infamously known club here. This is by far the best one I’ve worked at, and luckily (not to begin with) we all get on extremely well. It’s a lot more legit and I’m very well looked after.

The girls are from all over the place, I think there’s more international girls than Australian. But it’s cool, students, backpackers, horse intructers, nurses, glamour models, burlesque dance teachers, vet in training, pole instructors, Liberians, hairdressers, beauticians, waitresses,they’re all living a double life. Everyone is normal, there’s not one person who does it to feed their drug or alcohol habit, everyone’s got their own style, everyone is their own person, and it’s amazing to go there after work one day and sit and listen to normal conversation about work that day, whilst dressing up as your other persona, then transforming into that persona where your not the beautician or the nurse, your now a horny minx who wants every male that walks down those stairs into the club. So they think! I always wondered what guys would do if they hear what we gossip about after giving them a dance. I think some things would make a man go home and cry into his pillow.

Little did I think I was going to be here for long, because initially that wasn’t the plan, the plan was to move back to Sydney, which I did, and then moved back here within four days, the money was too good to not stick it out for longer for.

So here is where Chloe can come out of the box for now, there have been times when I thought about moving clubs, but there always just so different, and work in different ways, I don’t have to pay a house fee here, or get fined if I’m not doing something to the clubs standards, which is why I think it’s such a popular club, guys can come here and not feel on edge for being ‘too rowdy’, if they want to shout ‘yeah shake that ass you sexy bitch’, without getting dragged out by security they can! Everything I make is mine, and I don’t have to pay club tax on it.

Some clubs I’ve been to always want you to pay to work there $50-$100 if you pay it, you don’t get club taxed on your tips or any other earnings in the club, some take 10/20% of your tips, take half of the booking money for you private dance, and if you do a stage show you only get $30 for one, $40 for two, it’s not great, so tips and private dances is where you earn the money! When guys don’t tip it’s by far the most frustrating thing ever!

Who would go to strip club with no money? Oh the ‘ballers’, the ones who rock up wearing a hand me down suit, and a fake Armani watch, it’s amazing how quick you learn who has money and who doesn’t. But that’s a different topic that I will defiantly cover very soon!